Saving grace

I try and remember a happier time

I attempt to bridge the gap between sadness and sublime

I wonder if it’s ok to wallow for a while

And smile at the irony that my name means to smile

I have a subtle resentment to the emphasis on having to ‘feel good’

Though I know that the romanticism of sadness doesn’t last for long

The dead of winter seems to have arrived

And the renewal of spring seems yet so far…

I’m told I look younger than my age

And maybe that’s because depression ‘took away’ what feels like five years

I’m self conscious about coming off weak and too vulnerable

I’m supposed to be learning not to be captive to external events

A cognitive process of changing thought patterns thereby managing emotion

My heart and mind seem to be crossing wires

Unsure how to calibrate to life’s social opportunities and trials

Spiritual renewal through the proper channels,

Is a nourishing fountain if one’s able to be true to it

Allah’s Wisdom and Scriptures and Mercy for all

Always offers hope after inevitable falls

To be human is to err, no matter how well intentioned we think we are

Our saving grace comes in how we recover and try and make amends,

When we’re unjust to ourselves, to others, and to God’s rights upon us